“We think we’re managing dollars.
But we’re really managing stories.”
Money is everywhere, but most of us think about it in fragments: paychecks, bills, savings, numbers. We measure it, chase it, fight over it. We tell ourselves it’s rational. That if we earn enough, budget enough, invest enough—we’ll be safe, successful, fulfilled.
But if that were true, financial peace would only belong to the wealthy.
It doesn’t.
Because money isn’t just math.
It’s memory.
It’s meaning.
And it’s momentum.
I. Memory: What Money Reminds Us Of
Every money decision you make is shaped by the financial memories carved into your brain—some obvious, some buried.
Maybe you grew up watching your parents argue about money behind thin apartment walls. Maybe they never talked about it at all. Maybe you saw checks bounce, cards decline, or cupboards sit half-empty. Or maybe, you watched wealth get weaponized—used as control, withheld as punishment, dangled as love.
These memories—these emotional blueprints—don’t disappear when we get jobs or bank accounts. They become the silent authors of our spending, our saving, and our fears.
If you fear not having enough, it may not be about the balance in your account.
It may be about the moment in childhood when there wasn’t enough.
If you overspend the moment you feel sad or bored, it may not be impulse.
It may be the comfort you never got.
If you freeze and avoid opening bills or checking balances, it may not be disorganization.
It may be shame woven into survival.
We don’t start from zero. We start from stories.
And every budget, every paycheck, every plan—if it doesn’t first acknowledge those stories—is built on shaky ground.
Money habits are often trauma responses in disguise.
II. Meaning: What Money Symbolizes to You
Once you realize money isn’t neutral, you start asking a deeper question:
What does money mean to me?
For some, it means security. A way to exhale.
For others, it means status. Proof that you matter.
For many, it means freedom. The ability to say no—or yes—without permission.
And for some, it means love. Especially if love once came with a price.
Meaning isn’t a flaw in how we relate to money—it’s the foundation. But when we don’t know what money means to us, we risk chasing things that don’t actually meet our emotional needs.
You might think you want to “make six figures.”
But maybe you just want to feel safe.
Maybe you want to stop being afraid to check your email.
Maybe you want to buy your mom a house, or prove to your dad you made it.
The math says “save $500 a month.”
The meaning says “I want to feel like I’m not falling behind in life.”
The goal isn’t to remove the meaning.
The goal is to name it.
A Metaphor: The Shadow Wallet
Imagine your financial life as two wallets:
- The Real Wallet: where your money lives.
- The Shadow Wallet: where your meaning hides.
Every transaction touches both.
Swipe your card to buy shoes—and maybe you’re not just buying shoes.
Maybe you’re buying confidence.
Maybe you’re buying belonging.
Maybe you’re buying a break from feeling invisible.
Until we understand the shadow wallet, we’ll keep thinking our “bad money habits” are the problem—when really, they’re clues.
Ask yourself, “What am I really buying when I spend money I didn’t plan to?”
III. Momentum: How Change Actually Happens
We like to think change happens when we finally find the perfect budget app. Or read the perfect book. Or hit the perfect income bracket.
But most change doesn’t happen in a flash.
It happens in motion.
It happens when we start, wobble, adjust, keep going.
Momentum beats motivation.
You don’t need to fix your entire financial life in a week.
You need a first step—and then another.
Because every tiny step teaches your brain:
“Hey, I can do this.”
And that belief is worth more than any spreadsheet.
You start by automating $10 into savings.
Then maybe you read one page of a finance book.
Then maybe you track your spending for two days instead of 30.
And suddenly, you’ve gone from avoidance to awareness—which is where everything begins.
📉 Chart: The Emotional Arc of Financial Change
| Phase | What It Feels Like | What to Remember |
|---|---|---|
| Avoidance | Shame, overwhelm, shutdown | You’re not broken. You’re protecting. |
| Awareness | Guilt, confusion, curiosity | This is progress. Don’t skip it. |
| Tiny Action | Hope, doubt, small wins | Start stupidly small. It still counts. |
| Repetition | Pride, resistance, identity | Momentum matters more than perfection. |
| Integration | Calm, control, confidence | You didn’t “get rich.” You grew roots. |
IV. This Isn’t a Financial Plan—It’s a Healing Path
Let’s get honest: most people don’t just want to “retire early.”
They want to feel like they’re not drowning.
They want to feel like they’re doing something right.
They want to break cycles without breaking themselves.
He writes about patterns.
Patterns in your past.
Patterns in your behavior.
Patterns you can change.
And that’s the point of AtomicMoney.
Not to make you rich overnight.
But to help you feel seen.
To help you make peace with where you’ve been—
and power with where you’re going.
V. 3 Questions to Begin (Or Begin Again)
- What early memory shaped how I see money today?
- What emotional need am I trying to meet when I overspend or avoid?
- What is one laughably small action I can take this week that moves me toward calm?
Remember: The journey isn’t a straight line.
It’s a spiral.
And every loop is another layer of understanding, healing, and clarity.
“When you heal your relationship with money,
you’re not just changing your wallet.
You’re changing the inheritance of belief.”
